It's been a while..

Okay, so I haven't wrote on here in absolutely ages. Mostly because every semi-interesting thought I have nowadays ends up on Twitter. And partly due to the fact that nobody reads it.

I did, however, have an epiphany.

The fact that nobody reads this is what makes this blog so special.
It's a way for me to vent my feelings, yet unlike a diary I know that there's always the chance that anyone (or EVERYONE) could find this eventually, and that makes me at least feel as though somebody is reading this thing and is (hopefully) feeling some sort of empathy for me.

I'll start out with last night, mostly because I'm still yet to sleep so the memories are still fresh in my mind. (well, most of them at least)

It started out with me thinking that I was going to have another quiet night in alone. Which honestly doesn't bother me, because aside from a few select friends, spending quiet time with anyone else is one of the most un-enjoyable experiences I can think of.
However, my watching CSI was rudely interrupted with a phone call from Katie. She is one of the few select people who I do enjoy quiet time with, however I was disappointed as the call was in fact an invitation to "go and sit 'round Melissa's cuz she's got a free house." I feigned a poor excuse, but did in the end give in. If I didn't go I may be excluded from future plans, at a time when I do, in fact, want to do something more exciting than watching films on my laptop with a nice pint of water.

We got to her house, and it wasn't long until our juvenile teenage minds 'clicked'..... "Mate, we have a free house... Why the fuck ain't we having a party?!"

In the end we did.

Yes, I am skipping out some details, and yes it is because I am FAR too lazy to write them up.

To be quite honest I'm not even sure why I'm doing this anymore?

The original intention of this post was to vent some anger about my current living arrangements, my "family", and whether or not I should choose to move in with my largely estranged mother.
Or maybe to up-sticks and move to an entirely new country? I have family in Ireland? And my wonderful Nan  should be moving to Australia soon, if all goes to plan.

Mostly though I'm just tiring, more and more each day of the family that my father made the stupid decision of becoming a part of almost ten years ago.

I mean moving to Corby has been quite good I suppose? Not that it isn't still a shit hole. Just that unlike the stereotype, some of the people who live here are genuinely lovely, as well as people that now, I dare not think    what life would be like without them?

Although I'm still yet to find a REAL best friend. And who knows? Maybe a move could change that?

The people I've become attached to, for the majority of the time, aren't exactly "true friends". To be honest I often question myself as to why I even speak to most of them.

I told an ex I was still in love with her last week. It was in a drunken stupor.
I don't...
I mean I wouldn't mind getting back with her? Because I do find her attractive? And I do like her personality?
But last night has definitely put me off.

I was getting jealous.
She was cuddling up to another guy.
Mere days after doing the same thing with me?
If it was an attempt at making me jealous, it worked.
But now I honestly think I'm over it.
Probably not.
But oh well.

I think you can tell after reading this why I called this blog "Ramblings."
It's just me trailing off my thoughts.
I suppose this is my version of talking to myself.
At least if you saw me writing this out on the train you wouldn't mind sitting next to me I suppose?
I know I'd prefer sitting next to someone who just types gibberish to the big wide web, as opposed to someone who mutters all of their problems under their breath at anyone within earshot.



I quite like this post.
I feel as though it's my first REAL blog post.
An actual record of my thoughts about things.
AND I have a great sense of accomplishment, I mean I didn't fully cover what it was that I was going to complain about in the first place. But I do feel as though I mentioned enough to sort of get my feelings out there.
It's calmed me down at least.


I'll go have a think to myself about what I should do next?
I think maybe a talk with my Dad.


I'll let you know how it goes.

This one's for Paige...

I said I would tell you ll about Warwick Castle, but I haven't had the time, the patience, or the energy...

I also went to the beach, and that's all I'm going to bore you with about that.



Now the real part of this post,
it's not intelligent,
but i'll be damned if it's not funny :')

If this image doesn't move, blame blogspot not me..

Bonjour.

Incase you didn't know, the title of this post means hello in French.
I know it's a pretty basic thing that most people know, but I just wanted to make it clear for everyone.
K? Right now we've sorted that I'll get onto the actual blogging...

Lately I've been doing almost as little as always, which gives me plenty of time to write blogs, it just gives me nothing to write them about...
The one thing that did happen wasn't very pleasant, although it was god damned hilarious.
Basically, I was left to look after a drunk friend, until an old woman decided to phone the police and we had to "leg it".
Once we got him down the hill he decided it would be a god idea to run off and get into all sorts of mischief, such as jumping into thorn bushes, falling over numerous times (more often than not these falls would be severely dramatized), making a show of himself infront of his neighbours, falling asleep and hitting his head off of many walls/floors/plantpots/doorsteps, throwing up on himself, eating dirt, throwing dirt all over himself, etc....

Enough of that vile, chavvy sounding, mindrape...
Today I'm gong to Warwick Castle, it sounds like something I wouldn't normally enjoy, but lots of people have told me otherwise, so I will write about it later on tonight. ;D

It's about time.

Well, I haven't posted anything on here in quite some time and I think it's about time that I changed that.
To be honest nothing REALLY exciting has happened since my last post, but i have done a few things and I suppose they are worth writing about.
For starters last tuesday was pretty funny, I went out and had a laugh with some old friends and some new ones too. I splashed out on a taxi to East Carlton, we trecked all the way back to Paige's (5 friggin' miles), we played Twister in her back garden (how epic), we stopped off at BP on the way back as we were all dying of thirst and hunger, and despite the fact that I ate some berries and an apple that I found in the hedgerows along the side of the road, I am still breathing.
The next day I was woken up at 1pm to the soothing sound of an angrily vibrating phone, I was told that instead of 6pm, I was going to be picked up at 2pm instead. Great. I did manage to get ready in time though, bathed and everything.
Then it was off on the road, first we stopped at BP and I got a "meal deal" (BP food is actually delicious when it's the only thing you've eaten all day), then it was 3 hours (plus) in the car with the most uncomfortable seats imaginable, with Josie (the sat-nav) and Radio 1 competing for my attention.
By the time we got to Heckmondwike my back was killing me and I was hungry again, so we had oven chips and spicy chicken breast things. (omnomnom)
The next day after a really good night's sleep, we were off to Selby to see my cousins, it was really good seeing them, I don't see that side of my family very often as they all live really far away, Yorkshire and Ireland are not easily accesible when your a 15 year old from the Midlands. We were staying the night anyway so my Mum and my Aunty decided to "celebrate" my Mum's new job by getting hammered, it was quite funny at first but after a while it just became irritating.
(note to self: next time take xbox controllers)

I guess I'm going to miss the quiet more than anything, and the comfortable spare bed.

Hurt & Pain.

Esentially this is two blog posts combined into one..


Has anyone else ever noticed that pain often only manifests itself when talked about.
This can include both physical and emotional pain, which have both been brought about in me by words alone today.

Sudden Realisation

I do not have a bestfriend, this has always been a lingering thought at the back of my mind. I always knew but it was one of those things I never really thought about. It wasn't until someone else mentioned it (in a facebook post of all things!) that it actually started to bother me.
Is it that I'm not likable? Do I push people away? How many other people notice this? Do people see me as an outcast? Do I even have any true friends?

So many un-answerable questions..


Delayed Reactions

After reading my first post some of you may be a little confused as to why I metioned children throwing stones. Well this was because 2 3 days ago now I was struck in the face by a stone travelling at high velocity via (yep you guessed it) a child's throw.
Well, it's not until now (after speaking about it) that I've actually begun to feel the pain.

Is this normal? Does this mean bruising will start to show? Will the ache stop if I stop thinking about it?
Even more questions...
But at least this kind of pain time will definitely heal.

Friendship.*

Oh and Michelle Mirkovic because she’s an absolute legend ;D

Friendship.

Just realised in the past few days how much I miss friends from the good old days.

People like Paige Young, and Ellie Hankins.

We seem to have drifted further and further apart over the years, which in no way, until now that is, have I tried to reconcile.

Hopefully over the summer all that will change. (yn)♥